How do I stop saying the wrong thing under pressure?

4/10/2026

In brief

Plan for the moments you know are gonna happen. You don't need a script, but you do need a first line, a breath, a way to buy yourself thinking time and an exit strategy. Without a plan, under pressure, the mouth tends to get there before the brain.

This blog contains spoilers for Episode 1, Series 2 of BBC's The Celebrity Traitors.

In detail

Oops! On Thursday's opening episode of The Celebrity Traitors, Richard E Grant was chosen as one of the Traitors. Moments later, Joe Lycett asked him, more or less outright, which side he was on.

"I am a traitor," he said, with great theatrical flourish.
He then tried to pass it off as a joke. It didn't land as one. He tried to backtrack, but the room had heard what it heard, and he told the camera afterwards that he knew he'd made a big mistake.

Poor Richard!

Here's a man who has spent a lifetime professionally trained in persuasive communication, in saying the right words at the right moment. Yet still, under pressure (and without a script in hand), he just spoke.

And if you didn't know, his brilliant late wife of more than 30 years was also an Aberdonian voice coach. I'd like to think she'd have had a word.

Now look, I'm not laughing at him. Actually, that's not true. The laughter came straight after my jaw had dropped and needed to be reset, like everyone else's. But mostly I just recognised how human it was. We've all been there. I see it in meetings, interviews and Q&As all the time: a direct question, a spike of adrenaline, and out comes something you'll be replaying in your mind over and over again. Why, oh why, did I say that?

So here are my top tips for speaking under pressure.

Five ways to plan for the pressure moment

Name the question you're dreading. Before any meeting, interview or presentation, jot down the two or three questions you'd least like to be asked. They're rarely a surprise. They're just the ones we hope won't come. Richard knew this one was coming. Every Traitor does. But he didn't have a plan.
Have a first line ready. Not a script. One plain opening sentence for each of those questions, decided before you open your mouth, so you aren't talking your way towards it. Skip the run up (so, right, okay, have you got a sec). That's what we say while we decide.
Catch your name. As soon as you hear your name, start to breathe. Your body will go straight to freeze; if you know that in advance, you can remind yourself to keep your breath moving.
Acknowledge what you've heard, then give yourself time. "That's a fair question, let me think about that for a moment." Or repeat their last few words back as a question. Calm, professional, and it buys you time without sounding like you're wriggling.
Say less, then stop. Under pressure we tend to keep talking until we find the answer. Your exit strategy: give the short version, finish on a downward note, and let the silence sit. If they want more, they'll ask. Richard kept talking when Joe reacted. Oops!

A plan doesn't make you sound rehearsed. It gives you a choice about what comes out.

Your tip for this week

Next time someone asks you a direct question, notice what happens in the half second before you answer. Did you freeze, or did you breathe?

There's more on saying less, and saying it clearly, in my online course, How to Speak with Clarity.

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How do I calm my nerves on the morning of a presentation?

27/9/2026

1 Comment

In brief

Get out of your head and into your body. A few minutes of gentle vocal warm up (face stretches, tongue circles, humming and lip trills) releases tension, warms the voice and calms the nervous system all at once. Preparation gets you to the day; technique carries you through it.

In detail

I get nervous before a presentation. Still. Particularly when I'm sharing new material with new people. Recently I had a morning session with a legal team in London. Here's what I did before I walked in. I warmed up in the shower, and carried on at Surbiton station. One end of the platform was empty, so I turned away from everyone and kept going. I love London for this reason. Literally, no one cares.

When a wave of nerves hit, I smiled. Not because I felt like it, but because if I hold it there and let it settle, it reminds me there is nothing to fear. On the train, my phone stayed in my bag. The carriage was packed, so I closed my eyes and thought my way through the session. I saw the participants nodding, engaged, enjoying each other's company and the chance to learn together.

That is exactly what happened.

A five minute warm up for the morning of a talk

Stretch the face. Raise your eyebrows, open your eyes and mouth wide, then scrunch everything small. Three times, then let the jaw hang loose.
Circle the tongue. Keeping the tongue inside the mouth. Stretch it forward slowly, then circle it inside your mouth, between teeth and lips, five times each way.
Hum. Lips gently closed, a comfortable note, no pushing. You're after a light buzz on the lips.
Lip trill. Loose lips, blow air through them as if you're making the sound of a car. Slide gently up and down. If your lips won't cooperate, press a fingertip into each cheek near the corners of your mouth. This is my first choice every time.
Smile and breathe. When the nerves arrive, and they will, hold a soft smile and let the breath drop low. Give it a moment to settle.

Nerves tend to speed us up. A voice that's warm and released is far easier to slow down when it matters.

Your tip for this week

Before your next meeting or call, find your own empty end of the platform. Two minutes of lip trills, then notice how your first sentence sounds.

There's more on pace in my online course, How to Speak with Clarity.

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How do I stop saying the wrong thing under pressure?

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